My Thoughts

May 8, 2012 Your a person I will be glad to get rid of. 

People are just crazy stupid and irritating. I am sick of people talking behind my back. People breaking up with me when I wasn’t even sure we were together. I don’t need or want your drama, I am tired of living up to your expectation of what I should be. OOH and I know you will most likely never see this but you are not always right you bitch. Even though you think you might be your not. I mean what I meant too when I told everyone I don’t know where you are and I don’t care. You are a two faced girl who got the guy I was seeing to give up on me. I know you told him un-true things about me because you are that person. The person that no one can trust because as soon as you do you turn around and stab them in the back, with the knife that you hide behind your back.

Feb. 20, 2012

So My life lately is well normal, as normal as a teenaged girls life can be. I get home from work with 4 voice mails all from drunk people, THANKS GUYS! But for real I don’t know what I am thinking for feeling. I think really I can’t wait till I Leave for costa rica in two days! Though I hope soon that one university lets me in, I promise to be good……. most of the time. Well I just got home from work and I think I am going to bed. Msg Me anything and I will get back to you tomorrow. Night Tumblr. 

Jan. 26, 2012              PromGirl?

      Ok so I have taken one step into the new bold skin of mine. I entered for a chance to be a model. So hopefully if I make it into the top ten I hope you guys will all vote for me! One step into being the bolder, more confedent Sam.

Jan. 25, 2012             Mono Sucks

    Ok so not having to go to school, and deal with a ton of shitty people is great. Though having mono I feel like I am dead. It gives me way to much time to think. At this point I have decided I am over it I dont care you want to hate me thats fine! So that is why I think I am going to do something bold. Something that I wouldnt usally do but hopefully it works in my favor. I want to show people that I am confedent and ready to face the world. Hopefully do it for the better.

Jan 11. 2012     I Cant Hanlde This

      At this point I cant handle anything anymore. I am Done I am done fight for what I think I am done trying to be happy. I am done looking for love and most of all i am done caring. I care for people and there feelings but no one cares about mine. It has been one thing after another, people just keep on tearing me down everytime i build my self back up. I WAS STONG now I am nothing but a broken teenaged girl. Who at this point has lost everything that she is. I have lost my over whelming need to be my self and stand up for everything that I am. Now you have broken me and look at me how you want because I will be who ever you want. I just cant handle the words the drama the people. Everything my life is a mess that is never getting better. Everythime one thing looks to be done people start something new. Thanks to you THIS IS THE WORST YEAR OF MY LIFE. Grade 12 they say is the funnest year of all of high school for me it is a place that makes me want to die. I HATE IT and at this point I HATE ME.

Jan 11. 2012     People Are Way To Nosey

I dont know why people feel the need to get into everything I do. Yes I went out with him, it may or may not have been a date but why do you care? I LIKE HIM! Yes I said it I like him. He is sweet and kind to me and calls me beautiful and means it. I think though today he is mad at me because of what everyone is saying. Why people want to talk about me IDK but it is really starting to get on my nerves. Everyone around me messes everything up. I didnt do anything, and I might be over thinking things. Though I really dont know. Cant I just be happy and have a guy like me. I didnt think that was to hard but I guess it is. I hope he is not rethinking what we did because I am really NOT Rethinking our kiss…

Jan 9. 2012       The Start Of HIM  

     That kiss, it was something I thought might happen one day. Never thought then and I never thought I would like the taste of his lips so much. The soft touch of his hand on the low of my back. He was so gental, yet strong. He is as sweet as can be. Things are weird I like him and I know he likes me. Though can this one last? I like his soft lips his gental kisses, and his smile. The way he looks at me with that smile. I pull away alot but I love it when he chases after me. It was something that as soon as we kissed i felt that butterfly feeling in my tummy, and I couldnt wait for him to kiss me next. It is wrong but it feels so right. He is sweet and kind and funny! God I better not fall for him, Well not this soon anyway. He knows nothing but everything thing about me all at once. I guess I will have to see where things go. But is it bad that I am already thinking about next time that I get to kiss him?

Jan 7. 2012    Killing The Dream

   So I have been thinking. I want true love, no I Crave it. I crave that feeling of someone telling you they love you and seeing it in there eyes. That moment when everything that is bad turns good when you see that person. The attention that the person spends just noticing every little thing about you, and love you for everything you have. I know I want love but I dont think it is coming my way. Every time I start to like someone they give me a reason not to, or they shut me down. I think this is the world telling me to move on, or that I am better off playing the game, and I can play the game until I fall for the guy. They way he looks at me his smile and all the cute things he says to me and about me. My mind flys with thoughts and boys and How I come off as knowing my self and that nothing ever hurts me. I think that might be my biggest flaw is showing that nothing ever hurts me untill it becomes to much to handle then I am mad or I cry. Oh and how I hate to cry. Maybe I am ment just not to be wanted who knows.. My life is not like the books I read though I wish it was.

Jan 6. 2012        What is This?

    My new thoughts box. I am going to give you detail on what it is. I am going to start writing when ever I feel like it about what is going on in my life. It will be anything from boys, grades, friends, family, and well even on my bad days where I feel like things will never get better. Where better to share my feelings then on tumblr. You can read my posts or not. I will warn you though I am not saying my life is interesting or anything you might want. All I will say is I might give you a diffrent out look on points in life. Maybe even you share the same feelings I do…. So why not?